There should never be any action committed or word spoken that
you cannot justify Biblically.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the stregnth of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26
As our pastor encourages me from the pulpit and his wife via
text daily, I have decided to live intentionally. Although most do not speak
with their pastor’s wife daily, I have been very blessed that she has offered
to keep me accountable during this time of intentional living. Much like my
police husband has done for many years with many individuals seeking to better
their lives, I speak with her briefly on a daily basis to focus myself on doing
things daily that are worth doing. I suppose step one for living intentionally
is to become accountable.
This concept is really less about efficiency in the beginning
and more about being beneficial to the Kingdom and to those with whom God has
entrusted you. When I learned to play softball as a tween, there was a lot to
take in. Learning to swing a bat taught me a great deal about how seemingly
simple tasks can be tremendously intricate when you begin to break them down.
Everything seemed to matter when it came to my swing. My initial stance, hand
eye coordination, how much I had practiced that week, who was there to see my
play, my timing, the “breaking” of my wrist just as the ball hit the bat, even
the state in which my legs were tangled after the swing factored in. There were
seemingly thousands of movements in perfect order to be executed at the blink
of an eye in order to ensure success. What is the secret? You guessed it… Practice!
Whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men. Clossians 3:23
The reason we are willing to put in the effort to get good
at something is because we love and want it. Why else would we sacrifice time
and comfort for it? The question today is… Are we sacrificing our time and
comfort for the people we love and want?
Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another. 1 Peter 4:8
I don’t have to remind you of the intense LOVE and WANT God
has for you, nor do you need to be reminded of the gut wrenching scene in which
Jesus stepped forward and was brutally crucified, in his innocence for the sins
that YOU and I committed.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
With His impeccable sacrifice fresh in our minds, I
offer these ideas to help you refocus on those with whom God has entrusted you. As followers of Christ, we have relinquished
the right to determine whom we will love, but this will help you focus in on
deliberate relationships within your home.
No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who LOVE Him. 1 Cor. 2:9
I lack experience in the area of sibling relationships as I was an only
child until I was 14. By that time, I was so tired of being alone that I saw my
brothers as beautiful blessings, team members, allies, and we fought very
little because of that. In an effort to be sure my son and daughter feel the same
way about each other, we spent the day executing these activities…
1.
The following link will offer you the opportunity
to take a test that explains each of Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. As an
intense supporter of this concept, I can tell you, it will change your life!!!
I had each of my children take the quiz of 20 questions and
the results were displayed immediately.
2.
My children then took turns listing examples of
actions, phrases, activities, experiences etc. that make them feel loved, while
the other child took notes on a “Cheat sheet for how to treat my Sibling.”
3.
Once each child had looked over the “cheat sheet”
for themselves and had given the “OK” on the items listed, we then took a moment to
plan a surprise. For example, my daughter ended up having a very strong “Words
of Affirmation” response so, I helped my son pick out a cute blank notecard
from my collection and he wrote her a note thanking her and letting her know
that he loved her. My son had a huge draw to “Quality Time” so my daughter
planned a time where she would just play cars with him in his room, and show a
cheerful spirit.
This activity was a tremendous success!!!
The concept of loving someone and having them
miss out on feeling that love is just heartbreaking. The 5 Love Languages theory
has taught our family how to “translate.” Because of this activity, I realized
the intense value my son places on individual time with those he loves, and I
can better understand how he can be negatively affected if a relationship with
him is not valued in this fashion. Also, I would have never realized that doing
the dishes and mowing the lawn meant that my husband was madly in love with me
had I not read this book with him. I will now know that when my daughter is
hurting a kind word and a Bible verse will do her more good than a hug. This is
valuable information since when I am hurting, I just want to be held.
It will take time to learn how to translate
the actions of the people who love you into a reminder that you are loved, and
ultimately the FEELING of being loved. There are a great deal of intricacies associated
with this idea, but knowing that you are heading toward a deeper understanding
of how to meet the needs of those you love and feel them loving you on a much deeper level is exciting. I LOVE that
idea, and I WANT to experience this! You won’t be tremendously efficient at first
but the benefits are totally worth it and as I said before, practice makes
perfect.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phillippians 4:13
Since we tend to love people the way we want
to be loved, taking time to LEARN what THEY need, instead of giving whatever
comes naturally is certainly a way to create a DELIBERATE RELATIONSHIP within
your home.
Prayer: Dear Lord, Draw us into a closer relationship with you, that we may find favor with you. Let us grow daily into the men, women, and families of God that you would have us to be. We love You so dearly and own our every breath to You. Guide our hearts, words, actions, and decisions that they may bring honor and glory to You. Give us the hearts of servants as we seek to make diciples. Cleanse our spirits and our minds, in the holy and precious name of our savior, Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.
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